What's Up?! - January 2010
Now and Then, A Look Forward to 2010
By Larry Shapiro
When I look at the calendar and see how much happened in 2009, I guess it was a pretty full year for many of us. Aside from getting a year older, I noticed that my values haven’t changed much, but my perspective on those values are sure changing.
I won’t even attempt to mention all the changes in airplanes and airplane toys. By the time I get an estimate on some panel changes, two more items are announced and we have to start over again. This is not a bad thing, just another way to get rid of those pesky little dollars that are clogging up your pockets.
Every day there is an announcement about something new, a potential new regulation, or another uniformed pilot getting bumped from his or her flight because of too much deicing fluid in their bodies. What were they thinking? After all those hours of training, finally getting a grown up pay check and a seat on the left side of the bus and then they try to smuggle some used alcohol on board. I’m trying to find some sympathy for them, but my sense of humor kicks in and I make jokes about it. I wonder who packs their parachute, Wal-Mart?
PPS
Remember the magnificent Seven, I told you about last month, the ones that met with the City Council and that they worked out a local composting plan without impacting the airport, in other words, an amazing success for us. We don’t know where they are going to flush that smelly stuff, but it won’t be on our front lawn.
Stay tuned, some new issues will hit the council floor soon and the magnificent Seven will once again saddle up to fight some more bizarre ideas that will be sillier than breeding chickens that lay eggs with no shells and come pre-salted.
The Other Compost Pile By Another Name
Now in their wisdom, our friends from the governments little retirement waiting room, known too most as the FAA; translated I believe that means Feeble Aviation Authority, have again lowered the bar so snails can step over it. Look, there are so many of us in the aviation community drowning in a multitude of problems thanks to this economical Tsunami, we are all doing the backstroke and the last thing we need is the FaFa folks throwing us an anchor.
Fuel prices are killing us, aviation businesses are being hit hard and closing and flight schools are holding on by their student’s logbooks. The last thing we need is more absolute foolishness from the above-mentioned Feeble-ites.
Now unless I’ve lost my mind, Our Lady of the AOPA points out some hard to believe changes coming down the runway and showing at an airport near you in the year 2010.
The FAA is not suggesting, but ordering some flying machines no access to our fields. They are saying no to auto-fuel regardless of the STC. Hold on, there’s more …
You will shortly be hearing about some of the new “you can’t do this anymore stuff” and you’ll be scratching your head too repeating after me… “You must be kidding!”
If you’re pulling your airplane behind you on a trailer to your local airport, they’re going to lock you out and say, sorry Fred, you can’t fly here. Did anyone think about gliders… probably not.
If your LSA uses auto fuel, once again, you can’t fly it here because “we said no auto fuel.” My stomach is starting to hurt… I’ll get you the whole list next month after I calm down. This is where being Bi-Polar gets in the way.
Lady Liberty is probably laughing!
So, having lived in New York City, I know for a fact that the Hudson River has been there for a long time and of course I have flown up and down it a few times. I don’t want to take anything away from Captain Sully, in fact, I wish he was my neighbor, but now, all of a sudden, we have new rules for flying in, on, or around the Hudson River. Oh I get it, the cow got out so now we’ll lock the barn door,
Look, I get it! It’s called cover your political butt. These new regs will not change a thing because when push comes to shove and I need to land and I’m not current on skyscraper landings, lookout Hudson River, east or west, here I come. If you haven’t flown in this area code, it’s hard to picture the issue in its entire smelly beauty until you hear the sound of silence from your engine.
Say Aaaaaah and cough one more time
And now a few more words on the medical front for this New Year. As many of you know, I’m still involved with my on going battle with the FaFa folks. I want to call attention to a great piece put out by AOPA called, “Experts give tips on keeping your medical.” It’s worth a read and I’m feeling that support is growing toward my argument and position on the FAA and meds. By the way, getting in to see an FAA doc is harder than crashing a White House Party.
With that said, I would suggest you do what (some) other pilots do, and that would be to lie, but I won’t suggest that because the publisher won’t let me (restrictions, restrictions). But if I were to suggest that, I would argue, what is the FAA going to do? They can’t fire all of us; the Prez won’t let them. From the military to the Jumbo Drivers… we can’t live without pilots and they know it. Every pilot needs to be evaluated on an individual bases and supported by his or her personal doc. Decisions cannot be made by turning to page what ever!
I’m going to state this for the last time, okay, maybe not the last time, so, I’ll start off the new year by stating that my grandchildren are not getting to fly with me because the FAFA folks say the meds I take make me incompetent to fly.
Now let’s see, I can drive a car to my office and back, I can take an elevator by myself, I can change a diaper, but I can’t fly because I’m a little bi-polar and I take the lowest possible amount of some disgusting pills once described by a shrink I met as too low a dose to even be effective. These little beauties give me a better quality of life and for the record, make me a better pilot because I never panic. I handle every situation like going through a drive up window at who ever has the cheapest deal of the day.
If any docs reading this column, or a semi-honest lawyer would like to do some pro-bono work with or for me, I need to get back to what I love almost most, and could use some help.
For, Four, Fore, Before, Forewarned, Forlorn, Forsaken, for almost the last time
Borrowing some words from Andy Rooney, have you ever noticed that near most airports are golf courses? I don’t know if they were there before or after the airport was there, but never the less I can name dozens of airports that share the same zip code with an airport. Come to think of it, so does mine and I am always picking up golf balls that come rolling along the ramp passed my office.
A voice from above shouts down at me and says, “Hey Shapiro, you’re doing it again, make your point!” My point is, when was the last time you experienced a campaign to close a golf course? I’ve never seen a sign that said, “Go putt around somewhere else before I get really teed off.”
I did a little research and found one or two within 150 miles of where I’m writing this and only one was actually closed. We never see signs reading, “Save our Golf Course!” Interesting wouldn’t you say? I guess it would be politically incorrect to suggest you take your putter and go putt around somewhere else. Do you get what I driving at?
Okay, Okay, enough… so, it’s the New Year … Do something new and don’t do nothing dumb. I hope you’ll stay with me during 2010 and as always, I’d sure like to hear from some of you with good or bad input. I can take it!
Happy New Year!
“Over”
