What's Up!?
Don’t Assume
By Larry Shapiro
As a child I remember folks telling me to never assume anything because it makes an ass out of you and me! Now, a ton of years later it still holds true. I hear “I assumed this and that” time after time and no one seems to heed the words and learn the lesson. Drum role please … I’m as guilty as I’m sure many of you are. How many times have you asked for directions, whether or not the food is good at the Road Kill Café, or whether the dude wrenching on your bird of paradise is a licensed and insured mechanic. One more assumption that’s a real pain … don’t assume you don’t need to get it in writing; you do!
More than a bunch of times I’ve been the one to object to shade tree annuals, or any major work done by Jack and Jill and anyone else up the hill. There is no recourse when things go south. Even though it’s not required, trust me when I suggest that those little white signs that read: FAA Certified Repair Station # 1234567, are worth a few more buckaroonies. I have to tell you about one of my friends that bought a jewel of a TR 182 RG and couldn’t wait to show and tell it to me. He was planning his first trip from California Delta to Burbank. He mentioned his brakes need a small adjustment and then he was going to light the fire and break the world speed record from nowhere to Burbank. Just kidding, I already broke that record.
Wheels Up To Wheels Up!
Anyway, as I recall the story, which took place 500 pizzas plus ago, he called me when he got to Burbank and this is what he said (pay attention or you will miss the whole point of this), “hey Lar, two hours even, wheels up to wheels up!” I said to Pilot Blank, you mean wheels up to wheels down? “Nope, wheels up to wheels up.”
Wait, I’ll get my crying towel. Ok P.B., let me hear your story: “Well, I got the adjustment I needed by this kid at my airport, (to be named at a later story) and he put some stuff in backwards and my gear wouldn’t come down.” Hummmm, sound familiar? When are you all going to get these sage words of advice? Stay out of the shade and get your work done by someone with the right license, insurance, and some sort of reputation.
You wouldn’t buy a $5 motorcycle helmet, (I hope) and a $20K motorcycle, would you? I mean, if your going to put your head in a bucket, buy a good bucket. Same rule applies to your Aviation Wrenchers; don’t take your very expensive airplane to a Wal-Mart Annex under that tree I was referring to earlier.
One more thing, just like when you buy a diamond, something I do a few times a week, they now identify them. Make sure the parts on your airplane are treated the same way; don’t assume anything. Always make sure the paperwork is completed and correct.
Almost Too Silly to Mention
BTW, always make sure that when only two people are in an airplane, that at least one of them is a pilot. Better still, you should always know something about the person sitting next to you before you ask that well used question: Would you like to fly the airplane? I don’t have time and space to tell you about the time I was demonstrating a new Tiger and asked the beauty sitting next to me if she wanted to fly now? She responded with, “sure!” In the middle of the SF Bay, off she went just before I asked her, “So, how long have you been flying?” Being the lawyer that she was, she looked at her watch and said, “about three minutes.”
And now, (as Paul Harvey used to say) is the rest of the story: I recently attended one of the best safety meetings I can recall that really drove home some other lethal assumptions that could have been real killers. As I made my notes, it was painful for me to see how much I had forgotten, never knew, or didn’t understand. I looked around the room of 250-plus pilots and guests that were at this PAO-PAAA sponsored event in conjunction with AOPA. Some of those guests were not pilots, just neighbors interested in hearing the other side of the story. Wow, Max Trescott drove home some really great stuff and I would have expected nothing less from this author, award winning CFI, and quality dude. One more thing; the cookies weren’t bad either.
A Show is Born!
Some years ago I was sitting around the Hiller Aviation Museum, one of my favorite places to do hangar flying. This palace of aviation history and educational institution is truly a jewel of the San Carlos Airport.
My favorite Air Boss, VP President of Operations and a ton of other things, Willie Turner, said let’s do something different and exciting. I suggested ironing our shirts and he said, “No, I’m serious”. And before you ask, no, he’s not related to Roscoe, unless you are referring to his dog, whose name is Roscoe.
So, with little or no budget, little or now idea if we could pull it off, and probably a lot of other “no’s,” we decided to try and do an all helicopter air show. With the hopes of attracting a 1,000 folks and having very few volunteers, some how or the other 4,000-plus folks crammed into the museum for a first class, kick butt helicopter display and airshow. And that my friends, was the birth of a first class, non-fixed wing, loud, jammed packed airshow. The attendance has now almost doubled and may be maxing out the facility soon.
I was the announcer back in the early days until I became to heavy for the runway and PC incorrect.
However, the show is now the biggest show of it’s kind in the country. At press time, I heard rumors that not one but maybe four Harriers were appearing. If they show, you’ll need a double set of earplugs; these are the nosiest things I’ve ever heard. But wait…There’s more! I know this can’t be true, but then, I’ve been wrong more than once. I also heard a rumor that said an Osprey might also show and if that happens, Willie will have to add another story to the museum or move the show to highway 101, if just for the overflow need for parking. Personally I can’t see any reason why we can’t shut down a major highway in the name of aviation. But then again, that’s why I’m not announcing the show.
The Bottom Line
I love June … graduation time, June Brides, Summer Vacations, we’re through crying from Memorial Day, plus, the fishing is great. One more thing, I don’t have to buy any more birthday presents for a while. Okay, I know Father’s Day is about to happen, but that is so self-serving I hate to mention it so I won’t. Okay, Okay, Okay, just this once … being a Dad is the hardest job I’ve ever loved and I wouldn’t trade it for a major trout limit. I also hope that being a father of the grand kind never ends!
“Over”
