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In Flight USA Articles
What's Up: It’s Pucker Month so? The month of love and Valentines!
By Larry Shapiro
I love each month that has a theme. Some are good, and some aren’t. It seems that most have a food theme, and then I remember I write an aviation column, and I’m suppose to write about things that are suppose to make aviators happy.
It was at that point I remembered that making an aviator happy might be above my pay grade. Then I remembered how much alike we all are… but we are polite except for a few rude ones that sneak in. I know we all appreciate the kindness and help offered to us almost everywhere when we’re trying to survive a cross-country flight.
This reminds me how few pilots ever leave their zip codes or time zones after they are sitting on their private tickets. I’m serious! I have this discussion more often than I do about ice cream. Any new aviator that works with me gets the same suggestion: When you have 100 hours, beg, borrow, or even rent an appropriate airplane, and now the “kicker,” I beg, plead, and whatever it takes to get them to do the following trip, and… to do it solo.
What's Up: Service
By Larry Shapiro
I’ve had so much fun thinking about how many times and places we see and use the word: “service.” Here are a few of my thoughts on this important word. (Please feel free to share some of your favorites and not so favorites).
I know I’ll miss some, but for starters, I was in the Service … and I’m very proud of it. How many times have you heard the word used when there is a uniform involved?
I couldn’t guess the amount of service stations I’ve used, and how I evaluated each of them. I still do. Ever wonder why they’re called “Service Stations?”
A great meal at your favorite restaurant with bad service becomes a least favorite place. On the other hand, great service at your favorite greasy spoon or drive through becomes a regular. I’ve always loved this: A good meal served badly ends up being a bad meal. Bad food coupled with good service is what you remember and will go back to.
In conversations about retail stores, hotels, and other places of pleasure, the questions of service always comes up. We can’t help ourselves; we all are aware of the “service” provided.
What's Up:
I know I get credit for more than my share of headaches bending your ears over my favorite subject; “No more third class medical.” I’ve shortened the words for space reasons, but I had little or no support from many of you that it might actually happen. Well, if I were a bettingman,who come to think of it I am, I believe it’s going to happen.
If you know me, you’ve probably heard me use the words, “Pilots have no common sense!” Well, in the end, I am going to be right; we just don’t have too much common sense, and I wish we had more, heck, I’d be happy if we just had some.
Keep your logbooks crossed that I’m right on this one … I have to be. It just makes good common sense.
What's Up: With A Very Heavy Weaker Heart Here I GO!
By Larry Shapiro
Hey Lar, have an accident? “No thanks, I just had one.”
I know, I know bad joke… But there are many lessons to be learned and shared here, and I have a chance to use some of my old faithful bad jokes to tell my story.
Since I’m running out of money, send me a dollar and a note reminding me how many times you’ve heard me say, “Pilots have no common sense, and I think it doesn’t exist in General Aviation.” Then I could buy that house in the country I always wanted.
Because I am in the middle of what some of you might call a legal situation, I’d call it an inconvenience or a contribution to my lawyer’s retirement fund. I’ve been told anything I write could be used against me… hummm, the truth could be used against me… what an interesting concept.
What's Up
OK, Here we go again …
And
I Told You So
By Larry Shapiro
I know by now you are probably tired of hearing my song and dance routine about using “common sense.” May I respectfully request that you try and get over it! You see my fellow aviators, it continues to work and save a few lives along the way. Admittedly I am not a CFI, I don’t play one on television and never aspired to be one, but I will admit that I love teaching and sharing the tit-bits I’ve picked up along the way to old age, not zero time students but those of you who have been sitting on your ticket long enough to be a member of AARP.
I truly love the title of “Mentor” or King of Common Sense. I’ve begged, borrowed and threatened so many of you to give me the benefit of the doubt and join my Church of Common Sense. Day after day I cover my head, or eyes so I won’t see the silly things one sees when you spend more than half your life on an airport. Your troops do some really dumb things that you would never do in the other parts of your life, the part that pays for your flying expenses, sunglasses and silly shirts.
What's Up? - December 2011
Favorite month and season continued …
By Larry Shapiro
Larry ShapiroI think that last month I forgot to mention that I was sentenced to a week in Texas and got off with some silly behavior. (Formerly known as “Good Time”)
The trip reminded me of why being able to fly myself is so important. I can’t begin to tell you how much I hate to wait in lines and go through some of the most embarrassing security checks in the world. I mean, come on folks, are my shoes, bluetooth and belt presenting any apparent danger? This isn’t real security, it’s a job stimulus program. I guess I’m spoiled after living in Israel and seeing what real security is about.
How can we expect some of the lowest paid people at your airports to do one of the highest priority jobs when they don’t even have the support of most of the people whose time they are wasting. At best, all I see are people missing their flights, and I have the hardest time believing that they are saving any lives. Please feel free to disagree with me but if you do, don’t tell the person sitting next to you, tell me.
I have traveled through some of this world’s biggest and best airports where security lives up to its name and is worth the time it costs you.
What's Up? - October 2011
Reno…
By Larry Shapiro
I suppose there wasn’t any way this column could have been written without the mention of Reno. After all, this is an aviation publication, I write about aviation, and you would have to live in a cave not to know about Reno 2011.
Okay, my aviation friends, here’s what I have to say about this. People much more qualified than me, since they were there and witnesses, are telling their stories on other pages in this issue of In Flight USA.
Here’s what I know for sure. Reno is the “Super Bowl” of aviation. Without Reno the Reno area will take an economical hit worse than a flood. Furthermore, general aviation and professional air racing would simply not be the same without all Reno offers, from the thrills around the pylons to the live entertainment to the promotion of great skilled and talented pilots.
What's Up? - July 2011
It Blows My Mind
By Larry Shapiro
For the more than 12 years I’ve had the privilege and pleasure of writing this column I’ve never been more surprised than by the lack of response to the beginning of my June column. I actually thought about wearing a helmet and body armor while writing it and for days after it was published.
I always get a few emails or anonymous calls from nameless readers with a comment or two and a mild threat on my life. Surprisingly, it didn’t happen once since my June column hit the ramps. I have surmised that all the copies were gone before you got yours, you were away having plastic surgery done, in the middle of the divorce you wanted so badly, or you are so old now you can’t read the small print.
What's Up?! - May 2011
Before I begin … I never know where …
By Larry Shapiro
I never know where to place items of special importance to me, and hopefully to you. Should they be at the beginning of my column or at the end of it? This is especially true when it’s sad news. I’ve told you many times that there are many great Airshow stars out there giving people major neck problems. There are some class acts and there are some really classy acts.
Most of you know how painful it is for me personally when I lose one of these class acts and that has just happened again with the passing of Bill Reesman. Okay, so he was the Air Force officer I always wanted to be. Okay, so he flew the Red Bull Mig. Okay, so he also owned Bob Hope’s corporate jet. Okay, so he married the beautiful and lovely Julie and no matter what anyone says, he stole her away from me. Okay, so that’s my other fantasy. The Airshow business lost a star. I’m angry and I’m entitled to be angry … because I said so and as I always remind you, this is my column and I can feel any way I want.
What's Up? - March 2011
Before I Forget …
By Larry Shapiro
In my 8 to 5 world I have some set rules or guidelines I try to follow. Maybe you could call them procedures, either way, if it ain’t broke we don’t fix it and since it still works I’m not going to fix it.
A few weeks ago I got a call from an old friend I met about four years ago. He and his wife popped in looking for their first airplane and they became the receiving end of what you will read below. I can’t be sure their decision was based totally on what I shared with them, but … based on them living on California’s North Coast, one of my favorite places, I mentioned the egregious fog once or twice, or three times, maybe four times.
What's Up!? - February 2011
Bucket Heads VS. More Common Sense/Cents
By Larry Shapiro
I remember back in the days when you could legally ride a motorcycle without being required to wear a helmet for fear of getting stopped by the local legal pistol packers. Back then it wasn’t required and a really cheap date was to sit in the ER of your local hospital and watch them bring in the left over body parts from motorcycle mishaps.
I learned then why motorcycles were called “donor” cycles. It was not a pretty picture and a few bucks could have made a difference and maybe saved a life or two and tons of medical bills.
What's Up?!
2011: I Want to Start off the New Year With a Bang, So BANG!
By Larry Shapiro
Looking back some of you may know I’ve had to deal with some major health issues in the past 12 or so months and I chose to share them with you. Of course, with my sense of humor, I laughed at them because I’m invincible and even though I can’t leap over tall building, I have flown over a few.
Lesson learned: Be careful, you might get what you wish for or some things you didn’t wish for.
In early November I had a rather severe accident. No it didn’t involve an airplane or car. The fact is, I don’t know what happened. I can tell you a couple of things: one is that it was the scariest thing that has every happened to me in my 70 years and second, it was also the most painful.
What's Up?!
Looking Back
By Larry Shapiro
Larry ShapiroIt’s hard to believe we’ve being hanging out together for almost ten years but we have. During that time I’ve tried to cover a lot of topics dealing with aviation or it least close to the subject. My favorite thing and I hope yours was that I tried to deal with some serious subjects using as much humor as I could without being sent to my room by the In Flight staff and publisher. Trust me on this, it hasn’t been easy for them; there have been many times I almost broke my leash.
I have never meant to hurt or embarrass anyone. Okay, maybe one or two, but only in fun. Of course there have been many subjects that have been too serious to play with. As the end of 2010 comes to a close I would like to share some love, joy and a-whole-lot-learned wisdom with you.
What's Up?!
Heads Up! Attention on Ramp!
By Larry Shapiro
A few weeks ago, I got multiple phone calls from my friend Don Singer, a very respected member of the aviation community in southern California. He shared with me his great concern over an issue that was growing rapidly in his area. After hearing his story, I too shared his concerns and asked him to drop me a note spelling out the issues so that I might share them with you, here’s Don’s note”
“As per our conversation, winning the battle of Users fees is, of course, serious. But, the forgotten battle is where do we park our planes when we land. Transit parking has been lost at KCRQ (Carlsbad), KSNA (Santa Ana), KVNY (Van Nuys), and KSBA (Santa Barbara), which by the way are public use airports.
What's Up?! - September 2010
So here’s the thing!
By Larry Shapiro
Larry ShapiroI know as you read this you will be thinking, has Shapiro gone nuts again? Naaah, it’s just that I have said this so many times I keep hoping it will stick. Semi-crashed or destroyed airplanes are worth more when parted out rather than fixing and trying to sell them.
I feel the same way about tired, worn out high-time trainers. When you pass 10,000 hours as a trainer, it might be time to head for the junkyard. The doors and wings are worth lots and as a rule, we won’t accept an airplane that old to sell and especially to a zero-time buyer. If some high-time dude wants one, that’s a different story. He’ll know what he’s getting into. As the saying goes, “Ya gotta know when to fold them” before they fold.
What's Up!?
Let’s start with some thing really nice, again!
July has passed and the sound of fireworks has ceased, but the lingering aroma of dirty diapers is still wafting around my home and office. It takes a little getting use to, but in the end (no pun intended), it was worth it. Two glorious weeks of unanswerable questions, bibs, pacifiers and a mountain of dirty formula bottles and fingerprints on my glasses; this would be the joy of grandparenting. And to think I thought maintenance hangars were dirty… no more.
It’s about time!
What's Up!?
Don’t Assume
By Larry Shapiro
As a child I remember folks telling me to never assume anything because it makes an ass out of you and me! Now, a ton of years later it still holds true. I hear “I assumed this and that” time after time and no one seems to heed the words and learn the lesson. Drum role please … I’m as guilty as I’m sure many of you are. How many times have you asked for directions, whether or not the food is good at the Road Kill Café, or whether the dude wrenching on your bird of paradise is a licensed and insured mechanic. One more assumption that’s a real pain … don’t assume you don’t need to get it in writing; you do!
What's Up? - May 2010
As I Was Saying…
OK, Casablanca it is… A Screenplay by Larry Shapiro
(Second Draft) Playback… Roll ‘em!
The place: (the time: 10:15 p.m. PDT)
It was still a dark and very foggy night. Boggy and I put out our smokes and headed inside:
Note: As I was completing this column I experienced and suffered a terrible personal loss. My loyal and loving companion “Katana” died in my arms. With that said I am just unable to complete this column now, but I will next month.
One person is standing near the runway.
It’s quiet and not well lit:
Senior:
He is speaking to you:
Now it’s next month and I’m back and so is “Katana”. She now resides in a beautiful mahogany box with her picture on it and we are very happy to have her home.
What's Up?! - April 2010
M O R E W O R D S!
Larry Shapiro and KatanaBy Larry Shapiro
The first thing that came to mind as I began to write this column was exactly what you would think I would write about and you’d be wrong. There will be no IRS jokes, no April Fools jokes, instead, and I might add, highly inspired by the recent Academy Awards Show, a short/brief attempt at a screenplay description of what has transpired since my March column. Remember, no jokes but a reminder that life itself can be very funny.
This will be a short story about the aftermath of a plane crash and how it affected a small community, the airport community, and an even larger community. The communities will be named at a later column but for now we will refer to them as: PA, East PA, and MP. There, now that takes care of that.
First we need a working name for this S-Play. Let’s see, Post Mortem, naaah, to morbid. Miracle on Beech Street, I think that’s been used before. How about Casablanca? I’ve always loved that name and it hasn’t been used for years, plus, it really works here and I can spell it. Okay, Casablanca it is.
What's Up - March 2010
Larry ShapiroW O R D S!
By Larry Shapiro
Words: they’re amazing little tools and they can be used so many different ways, some good and some bad.
I started this column a few weeks back as I was thinking how confusing some words in the English language could be. I am in awe of how well the exchange students who stay with us know and use our language. In retrospect I would probably fail if English were going to be my second or third language.
I initially was going to use words like, “pretty” and “ugly.” We’ve all heard, “wow that was pretty ugly.” See what I mean?
Now because of two particular aviation incidents that occurred in the past few weeks, and yes, I know there were more, words still seem to be very confusing to our friends and neighbors outside the aviation community. What does IFR mean to them? What does a standard departure or approach mean? I won’t even try to explain minimums. The hardest question: Why did he take off? It was so foggy!