What's Up?
OK, One More Time
By Larry Shapiro
Jot this down, it may be on the final. I’ve said this so many times through the years but it keeps coming up, so, I am going to say it again. But first, after all the years I have inhabited this earth I have come to this conclusion. There isn’t one job, profession, avocation, hobby, marriage, friendship that doesn’t require some kind of salesmanship… absolutely none. Want me to say that again? I won’t, just read it again.
Now back to that question that may be on the final: If you know me at all, either by reputation, friendship, or a business relationship such as being a client or customer of our humble, meager, and struggling business you must have heard me say this more than once. You can’t sell anyone an airplane! If you do or try to you have to lie, cross your fingers, or be really desperate to make the deal.
Just to clarify for those who have owned ten or more airplanes, have gazillion hours of flying time, and are better looking than me:
NO ONE: no one walks up to me and says, Hi Lar, listen, I need a new lawnmower, gas not electric.
LAR: Hum, I don’t have gas or electric, but I’ve got this really nice Cessna 172, it’s gas, and if you stand it on its nose with the engine running it might cut some of your grass. You might have some on-going blade sharpening issues, but it will cut some grass.
NO ONE: What ?
LAR: You heard me, wait, I have to take my iPod ear buds out of my ears.
LAR: Continuing, responds, ya now what, I’ve got this really neat outboard motor boat I took in on trade. The motor has a blade on it and goes forward and reverse. Do you like the color?
NO ONE: Color! I don’t care about the color and I don’t want a boat. Ya know Lar, I think you’ve been out in the sun too long, I didn’t come here to buy an airplane or a boat, I still need a lawn mower.
LAR: Oh! Well then, maybe I can sell you an airplane! Wrong answer!
I don’t care if you are a student pilot, private, commercial, or Chuck Yeager. When aviators, aviator want-to-bes, Airshow Stars, military types, or even a collector, you can’t deal with someone like me, or others like me, when you’re looking for a boat or lawn mower. Come on humans, here’s another fact; Almost everyone loves/wants to be sold something. The problem in aviation is that there are no short cuts and the profile of 80 percent of your flying – again whether you are a zero-time sky warrior or a big time Sky King – you need to be in the right airplane for the right mission. Hence, I can only facilitate getting you into the right airplane, not the right lawnmower.
Now, with this heart-wrenching oration out of my head once again here is the point of this essay. If you are truly trying to provide a service, if you truly care more about the excited potential aircraft owner and want he or she to join you in the friendly skies, then deal with truth: Your job or if you prefer, your responsibility is to put them in the right airplane, not what you happen to have for sale that day, you absolutely do not have that right. It’s dishonest and it’s just plain (plane) wrong.
If your 14 year old wanted a first motorcycle, I doubt that you’d buy a Big Harley speed machine. I would expect it would be a few CCs less and a slower first step towards becoming a future organ donor. It’s no different with the flying machine… slow and easy is the only way, and I have no intention of getting into a P- - - - - g contest with those who want to argue this point, unless you want to put in writing with permission to print it either in this column or a letter to my editor. (I only accept personal attacks when accompanied by cash in small bills.)
Here’s how it works in the “Real World.”
SOME ONE: Hi Lar, Sky King said if and when I’m ready to start learning to fly and want to look for a “first” airplane I should talk with you.
LAR: You mean he’s still alive? How’s Penny?
SOME ONE: I don’t know if this is true but he said that you ask newbeez, (I made this word up), to bring a pad and pencil to the first visit with you and leave the checkbook at home.
LAR: I can’t believe after all these years he still remembered that. Yep, that’s true.
SOME ONE: Why?
LAR: Because, as I have said a few times before in this column, I do that because I want to remove the thought of being sold something from of the equation. The first meeting should be fact finding, unless, you are looking for something specific, exotic, or a collector piece, then the rules don’t apply. One more thing, just in case you are getting ready to ask, this does not apply to sellers, except, when they want to know what their airplane is worth. Then I ask one question before I answer: Are you buying or selling?
SOME ONE: So, that’s how it is?
LAR: Yep, that’s how it is. I can’t sell you an airplane but I can help you get the one you want or need. If you select one that I feel will bite you, then I walk you to one of our TSA approved and secured four -foot high gates with no known combination and show you the way to the lawn mower shop.
Loving Words
And now a few loving words about another type of salesmanship: If you have set your calendar to February then you know it’s the month we run for the roses and the chocolate. It’s also the month we say thanks to our soul mates, aka wives, main squeezes, and anyone we love for that matter. We tell all these important folks, especially the ones who support our poking holes in the sky, how much we love and appreciate them. There are no “Go-Arounds” on this one, get it right the first time.
NOTAM: Just a reminder about the birds and other homeless species that like to homestead under you cowl. It’s cozy in there and the price is right too. Take that extra minute and make sure you aren’t the new owner of a private zoo.
OK, OK, enough! So, it’s another year off to a skipping start. Do something different but don’t do anything dumb. I hope you’ll stay with me during 2010 and as always, I’d sure like to hear from some of you with good or bad input, I can take it!
Just a reminder, try not to bother me too much on Fridays, I’m in my office, but I’m baby-sitting my grandson Bobby on that day.
“Over”
